Arrested for reporting theft

The Associated Press reports on a man getting arrested when he went to the police to report a theft. His main crime was stupidity. What he reported was that someone stole "parts of his cannabis plants." The man's story checked and he he got checked into jail.

SYDNEY, Australia — An Australian man's complaint of an break-in at his home went to pot Friday when police arrested him for growing marijuana.

The 35-year-old man in the central Australian city of Adelaide called police to report that six men had broken into his house through a window and stolen parts of his cannabis plants, South Australia Police said.

Police were unable to find the intruders but brought a drug warrant to search the home, where they found six large cannabis plants growing in two bedrooms, police said in a statement. The man was charged with cultivating cannabis for sale.

"Members of the public are reminded that the growing of cannabis is not only illegal but can also attract other criminal activity such home break-ins and assaults," the statement said.

Bride Arrested at Wedding

WLBZ Channel 2 reports of a woman arrested just before her wedding. Her crime? Blatant stupidity. There was a warrant out for her arrest and she scheduled her wedding for the courthouse.

GERING, Neb.(AP) — Scotts Bluff County deputies arrested 31-year-old Dianne Carnes on Tuesday afternoon, just after her courthouse wedding was to have started.

Her offense? Officials say a day earlier, Carnes threatened a woman who served on the jury of her trial. Prosecutors say Carnes was caught driving last year while her license was suspended for a drunken driving conviction. Carnes was found guilty of driving under suspension Monday.

Officials say an arrest warrant was issued Monday for Carnes after she threatened the juror.

Meanwhile, Carnes had called a county clerk to schedule her wedding for the next day, and was arrested in front of her wedding party when she showed up for the ceremony.

She was arrested just in time. Someone that dumb should not be allowed to procreate.

Dependency or Co-Dependency

Following up on an earlier story covered widely elsewhere, the Associated Press reports,

A man whose girlfriend authorities say spent nearly two years in a bathroom in their house, sitting on the toilet so long that the seat adhered to her body, has been charged with mistreatment of a dependent adult....

"I looked at the statutes and spoke to the attorney general's office," [Ness County Attorney Craig Crosswhite] said. "This was a very unusual set of circumstances, and this is the law that most closely applied to the situation."

I guess there are no laws that directly apply to getting stuck on a toilet seat. But it seems to me like a charge of Co-dependency in the First Degree would fit best.

Another sign of high gas prices

An Arizona woman was willing to offer sex for gas, in the fight that ensued at some point she partially severed a finger before ending up in jail. Channel 12 News wrote the story this way:

Woman offers sex for gas
An encounter in east Mesa has left a woman in jail and a man with injuries from an assault. Details of what happened depend on who is doing the talking.

A Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office spokesman says 43-year-old Kelli Still appeared at the home of an acquaintance near University Drive and Ellsworth Road. Deputies claim Still intended to barter oral sex for gas money. Instead, Still is accused of using a pair of scissors to stab Michael Hamilton several times. When deputies arrived, both Still and Hamilton were bloody. Still was eventually booked in the 4th Avenue Jail on aggravated assault charges.

Hamilton disputes the deputies’ account of the assault. He has visible stab wounds under his right eye and on the back of his head. Hamilton says he did not know Still. He added that she appeared at the house, let herself in and grabbed his wallet. She emerged from the house a pair of scissors in her hand and a fight ensued. Puddles of blood remain visible on his driveway.

Still was also injured in the dispute. Among her injuries was a partially severed finger.

I'm betting that neither the gas nor the ass were worth the fight.

Siphoning a cop car's gas for arson

Is the thief in the Associated Press report stupid or brave? My professional opinion is "That boy just ain't right in the head."

LAMBERTVILLE, Mich. - A Monroe County sheriff's detective on a stakeout to catch an arsonist arrested the suspect as he tried to steal gas from the officer's cruiser. Officers were placed around homes currently under construction after police had gotten two arson complaints within the past week.

Several officers, including Detective Thomas Redmond, watched the 17-year-old walk away from his Lambertville home early Sunday carrying a bucket before he approached Redmond's unmarked vehicle.

Police say the teen unscrewed the gas cap and started siphoning the fuel before Redmond got out of the car and chased him.

Authorities say the teen later admitted to the two arsons as well as three other arsons in 2006.

As to whether this attempted theft took guts or balls, check out Tall Cool Drink of Water's Medical Distinction.

Hopes of Marriage Drift Away

Reuter's reports from London on a man who lost a $12,000 dollar engagement ring. The amazing part is that the plonker hopes she doesn't find out what an idiot he is and yet he describes the whole incident to a reporter.

LONDON (Reuters) - It is the one moment every man wants to get right—and which London floor-fitter Lefkos Hajji could hardly have got more wrong. The luckless 28 year-old's dreams of giving his sweetheart, Leanne, 26, the ultimate proposal have literally vanished into thin air.

Hajji, of Hackney, east London, had concealed a $12,000 engagement ring inside a helium balloon. The idea was that she would pop the balloon as he popped the question.

But as he left the shop, a gust of wind pulled the balloon from his hand and he watched the ring—and quite possibly the affections of his girlfriend—sailing away over the rooftops.

"I couldn't believe it," he told The Sun newspaper. "I just watched as it went further and further into the air. I felt like such a plonker. It cost a fortune and I knew my girlfriend would kill me."

Hajji spent two hours in his car trying to chase and find the balloon, without success. "I thought I would give Leanne a pin so I could literally pop the question," he said.

"But I had to tell her the story—she went absolutely mad. Now she is refusing to speak to me until I get her a new ring." He is hoping the ring will still turn up. "It would be amazing if someone found it," he added.

He hopes that that the person who finds his dream proposal deflated with the $12,000 ring intact, will give him a ring. Really? Leanne got off easy. Surely she can do better than Hajji. In a just world, the man wouldn't be allowed to reproduce.